| This thing causes Problems .. or maybe I do |
[Jan. 19th, 2004|02:43 pm] |
I had written a post about a friend of mine that had pissed me off one day and I vented I probably went to far. I know he will read this and I hope he does. I am sorry I went to far and I am happy that we are talking again. You know I am a very mean person when i want to be you should know this best of all and I appologize again.
If there is anyway to make it up to you let me know.
NOTICE TO ALL:
I am a very evil person when I want to be. Tread carefully around me I attack sometimes with not to much prevoking. If I do attack you perhaps at the time i thought you deserved it but if I know it was wrong then I will appologize even though the damage is done, probably excessively done.... but I do not appologize without reason, and it is not something that happens often so please accept them, they are worth something to me, and they are hard to do. |
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| GRRRrr Damn you LJ |
[Jan. 6th, 2004|12:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Fake Plastic Trees - Radio head | ] |
Okay hello to all! It is about time this thing works I have tried a couple of times daily for the last few days to get on here and vent but it didn't work!! Oh well it will be alright from now on apparently with a new master server I like to say that outloud. MASTER SERVER!!! Sorry
So Gideon you don't know me do you well I am sure it doesn't help that sardonicus can't spell my name properly!! All is well.. I guess I could tell you if you haven't figured it out yet ........... or I could let you guess until you think you are being stalked.. Hmmmm I know Keelin would find it entertaining so okay you get to guess.
on a personal note things have been very odd these last few days. My b/f flipped out on me because I went out and didn't recieve a few of his pages as if the pager is a collar or something. I think I got dumped over just as well you cannot be in a relationship with out trust whether you don't trust the person or they don't trust you it is impossible.
I decided, last night that it doesn't matter I refuse to let anything bother unless it is really serious like death or illness, or something of that extreme. So I figured I would chill but I grew restless and went for a walk. Yes I am crazy a 3 and half hour walk begining at midnight in a world of ice as it snowed. I came home and shoveled. I don't think the walk helped to clear my head really but I got tired enough that I went to bed and actually slept.
Well I have to go find a paper so that I can register for school. talke care all of you and don't do anything I would do!! ;-D |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 31st, 2003|03:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The people in my head are sining to me! La lalalala La lala! | ] |
Oh I almost forgot!! Sardonicus you HAVE to give me a page I never know where you are. So page me asap. I need to know what you are doing tonight!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 31st, 2003|09:21 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | some radio office crap my mom listens to at work! | ] |
Well Happy New years Eve!!!
Yes I do understand that it has been a while since I have been here sorry guys I haven't really been around a computer.
I have been at my fathers house in St Jerome. Major hicks-ville! So hick infact that the only time I have gone to a bar I had to side step around a massive pick up truck and a group of men drinking beers in the snow congradulating a guy on the huge buck he had shot and left in the bed of ther truck so he could bring it to the bar and show it off!!!!
On an up side my father bought a puppy he figures he needs some type of guard dog. From what I don't know he has six acers of land around his house and there are probably 20 houses within a 20 minute drive! The upside is watching a 42 year old man loose in a fight with a 2 month old puppy!
I told him I would go back up in the new year to trian the dog, does anyone know how to train a puppy who wants to do nothing but bite and sleep? It is pretty bad the thing doesn't play with you even if you take his toys and tease him he goes for the hand he is either really smart or really dumb!
On another note I have a new man. Yes that is right sardonicus I will fuck his brains out, that's what I do. I mean honestly what else are you supposed to do with a boyfriend/girlfriend? If anyone knows I will truly try it out but until then I will stay with the whole crazy sex thing. I mean we do the cuddling thing but like I always say cuddleing is just what you do when you have fucked so hard that you can't move any more so you colapse on to eachother and pass out that is what cuddling is!
Am I right boys? yes you know I am. And no I don't know why half of your women do not agree with me.
I am pretty happy that Christmas is over I still am missing a gift for someone but I haven't seen them yet perhaps I could postpone it until their b-day and say it was a b-day gift. It could work.
I do however have to get a job this is rediculous I am so lazy I really don't want to get a job I seriously am not going to be able to do it during school, but I guess it is just time to grow up a bit and stop being a lazy bumm!
I am not sure what i am going to do as a new years resolution this year. Every year it is the same crap loose weight work harder drink less never touch pot again gain more patience with people (especially my brother and mother). But this year I think I might go with some small reasonable thing hey this could be the year I actually keep my resolutions.
Hummm what to pick???
1) no more soda (that is going to be hard I really like rum and cokes)
2)get a job (sounds reasonable let see if it sticks)
3) learn to deal with my family (okay this has some sub-resolutions like forgive and forget (and that is going to be the hardest))
4) Visit my father more and talk with him more (he may be an ass but he seems to grow a back bone with my brother and that is exactly what everyone needs my brother included!)
5) Stop complaining so often (this actually is one that people over look and forget but if they learn to swallow things accept people and understand minds of others this could be a more enjoyable world for the person who stops complaining), (perhaps make that number 11 darling? You know who I am talking to.)
6)Do home work (this one is not really a work harder in school because that is way to vague, this is more specific and I think I could, could being the key word here, could do it. COULD being a very key word here)
7) okay I am runing out of crap here hmmmmmmmmm.......... OOOOH okay keep my room clean I think I have had that one since I was about 7 years old and I still don't keep it maybe this year...
Well perhaps I will think of more before the day is out!!
Other than that I have to give my father props he wakes up every morning at 5 and drives for an hour and I did it today thank god |
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| Almost Christmas!!! EEEEKK!!! |
[Dec. 24th, 2003|08:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | AC DC | ] |
Okay it is the 23rd and I have not even made a dent in my Christmas shopping and to top things off I forgot my PIN# for my CC and they reported it stolen and until I receive the PIN via mail it is inactive not good when I put all my money on it then was going to use it to buy Christmas gifts!!! F**K!!!!!!!!!!
Oh well things will work out in the end they always do!
I have been elected the Christmas doer in the house my step father buys stuff and I put it together set it up and clean the house! I can't wait until I get to do that to someone else just buy something and tell someone okay you have to put it together but first you have to clean the room it is going into and then after you put it together you have to rearrange the room so that it looks good!! GrRRR!
Well it is not like I have much else to do! Today I went downtown with a friend of mine and after we drove around for an hour we got bored and came back home. That to me is a productive day!
My dad being the sweetheart he is sent my Christmas gift today. I want to open it but I think that wouldn't be right so I am going to wait until I am infront of him. I wonder what it could be the gift is a big fat envelope!!??!!
Last night I had such a blast! My friend Chris and I were bored and waiting for our friends to finish work so we could go to the bar (we are not really into this place so the longer we can stall going there the better) we sat down at Tim Hortons and suddenly decided to go to the Mega Projects to play in the snow! We each went home geared up with Snow pants hats gloves and boots. We got there and after a pathetic attempt to make a fort we decided to have a snowman competition (who could build the best snowman) Well his sucked and after it fell apart he made it into a Dinosaur (but it looked more like a camel) well mine ended up being huge so big in fact that when I took a breather and sat on the edge of the bottom ball my feet were way off the ground! it took us an hour and a half and a giant ramp made of snow and my knees, to the get the second ball on the first. By the time we were done the snowman was 10 feet tall! I am not exagerating. Chris is 6 foot and he was holding the bottom of a hat two feet tall and on his tippy toes streched to the max to get it on the snowmans head! then we went to the bar and got wasted. we returned with two of our friends to build another one but being tired and drunk that didn't happen. Instead one of my freinds who used to play football and is completely solid decided to take out my snowman he ran at it at full speed and attempted to closeline it! Instead the snowman didn't even budge and he slumped off of it like a bag of dirt! It took three of us to push it over and even then it stayed together! I was soaked and cold but I haven't had that much fun playing in the snow since I sent my bro sledding down a hill to watch him go face first in to a huge drift of snow!!
Well I am going to go finish my Christmas crap!
Take care everyone and if you get a chance have a snow fight or make a snowman, go tobogganing just go out and have fun it will remind you that there is something good about winter besides Chrsitmas stress and School finals! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2003|10:31 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  busy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Jet | ] |
I know I haven't really written that much, not much has happened. I haven't even started my shopping, I am really not in the mood for it I guess last minute shopping will have to do. I only have to buy for a few people. I went out with the guys last night it was fun we went for a walk so they could smoke and had a snow ball fight and by the time we got back to my friends place we were soaked! Now if they could forget the bullshit all the time and learn to enjoy them selves life would be simple.
I played Foosball last night and I play D my O partner barely touched the ball and when he did he did nothing but shoot right at our opponents D! I was like pass it a bit! he did this all night and when I finally let a ball go in not intentionally he had the gall to say you've got to pick up the pace. I was like the entire game has been me versus them shut the f**k up!
I had a pretty great week-end I saw Sardonicus HE WAS SO TRASHED!!! which is an odd thing for me to witness since I have known him since we were kids and this was the first time I had seen him wrecked!!..... It was a cool tree so I just had to hug it!! yes of corse you did Sardonicus!
Saturday I went to a party and got smahed again we built a giant igloo wall over my freinds deck. It is so cool once we finish the top you will be able to go out in your t-shirt! It is already warmer in there then out side! Why did we do it I have no idea but it was fun!
Well I have to go put up the lights on my tree, shovel, and go shopping so I guess I am wasting time.
Take care and unless the egg nog is spiked there really is no point now is there? |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 12th, 2003|11:02 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  infuriated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | radio crap | ] |
Take care and try to remember that your life exists in a world with people. NOT a world exist with people in your life. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 10th, 2003|02:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | determined | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the hypnotica humms of very slow computers | ] |
Well I am about and hour and a half to my final philosophy test. I am going to fail but hey I like the teacher so what is another semester with him.
Presently sitting in my programs computer lab with 3rd or 2nd year students and they are stressing for a test. They are scaring me since they are using words I have never heard and these words seem to boring for me to ever be interested in enough to learn!
I am my own worst enemy!
Last night sardonicus and I went for another one of our adventures in the streets of Montreal. with conversation on how we will some how find ways to righten the world or at least I will try to righten the world and he dowses me with a pail of reality as cold as iced water.
The line a smile can brighten the darkest day is one of the truest thing I believe I have heard, but then I wonder where does it end? What could an embrace do?
Imagine seeing you good old friend and smiling and saying hello, they will no doubt smile back and return the greeting. However what if you had grinned from ear to ear and gave then a hug good enough for all those hugs missed from days you haven't seen each other. I think they would walk away from that encounter feeling good about themselves wanted and missed appreciated as well. A smile would have made them feel acknowledged at the most.
Maybe I am crazy, but everyone needs something right?
Well I am going to spend my last half hour trying to teache myself the course wish me luck!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 10th, 2003|11:07 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sevendust | ] |
Well another day another test!! School sucks and no one gives us credit for it they are all like wow I work all day I wish I was in school. Well do they realize how much work and stress are related to school? Well I do and I tell you it is not all fun and games. I have two tests to write today and I am really not prepared for the second one (philosophy). To top it off I missed my bus again I do that a lot. Well I am going to go and study a bit let's hope I don't miss the bus after that or I won't be able to write the test. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 8th, 2003|07:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | metallica | ] |
Grrr I am bored!! MSN games is glitching and everytime I pass a level on one of the games it shuts all my explorers down!! I could always study but hey where's the fun in that?? I would chat but I am trying to keep my cool some people drive me nutz! I know people who just because I am a girl think they have to talk about sex with me, all the time!!! It is like get over it, if you have to talk about it that much you obviously aren't getting it enough. Some of these people are my Xs and some have girl friends I really don't get it. Some people need more distractions in their life!! Maybe if MSN was working......
Oh well. Not much I can do about it. I didn't go to school today, didn't feel like it I am not sure if I even needed to go in, probably not .. I hope. I guess I should go at some point I mean there is only a few days left it wouldn't hurt none. or would it?
I got asked again today 'so how's the baby?' (I bought a cherokee and am trying to find time and finance to fix it up, I refer to it as my baby because it needs that much attention)This of course was asked to me by my friend who has a brand new MazdaSpeed Protege. Thank you very much for again reminding me that you have more money then I do! When it is done I think I am going to put on off road suspension, a 6" lift, and 33" tires and lay some tracks on his hood!! Yep that sounds good!
Well I am going to go find something to do. If I never write again it is because I poked my eyeballs out from boredom! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 7th, 2003|01:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Aerosmith, other rock | ] |
Welcome to my Live Journal where you the reader is given the chance to hear all the retarded crap that I have to say which I find way to boring and unimportant for face to face conversations. (Aren't you lucky)
One a bright note it is the season of giving, when a fat man, whom modern society has put in the place of Juses, brings us all gifts for being good. Right. Actually I think it come from the idea that the gifts were broguht to baby Jesus to worship him and everyone wants to be worshiped and therefore is expecting gifts, but who is to give them. Well the old I'll scratch your back and you scratch mine comes in to play. In the end everyone has a present and everyone feels special.
The holidays seem to bring something else as well. They are kind of like judgement for your year. From my own experience I have found that for some reason the holidays are the payoff or the payment for your year. If you have suceeded in having a good year and passed as a human then your holidays will be gratifying and full of cheer, gifts and beer. However if you have failed you then get the one invite to grandma's. Where you are at your family's will. This is hard to enjoy as you have to be happy and show that you are having a good time even though you have to sit beside your uncle, the same man who called you a slut and tramp for saving your cousin's life from alcohol poisoning. If you do decide to get up and leave or say one thing that might upset even the dog you will then be forced to live the title as the person who killed Christmas for everyone and you will get 'I hope the samething does not happen this year as the last year' when you get next years invite. What a beautiful thing Christmas is, isn't it.
Don't get me wrong I love this time of year i just wish it wasn't so commercial. It would also be nice if there really was an option of giving, I don't know about you but in my family you HAVE to get everyone gifts. Well they do not go right out and say it but afterwards it seems all the grandkids get together and ask 'so what did you get grandma for Christmas?' The answer cannot be 'I didn't get her anything because in defending my brother my father and I got into a fight and she kicked me out of the house over a year ago and doesn't speak to me anymore.' Nope that doesn't work so you go out and buy anything that looks nice anything at all but it has to have some sort of relevence right?? hmmm I think there should be a limit like Easter, there is a ritual easter gift (chocolate) why can't there be one for Christmas as well. Perhaps a bunt cake or a giant ribbon in the shape of a bow? What-ever it is I think it would take away the stress from Christmas time and bring back the one thing that Christmas was intended for, love and union family members who outside of the season would never lay eyes on each other.
Happy Christmas Shopping. |
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